But there are cameras!

"Well, it was scary, but it wasn't that fucking scary," Geo said about the radiation scare that was the aftermath of the great Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami that, literally, shook Japan two  years ago. "I know," I said. "I came back to Japan a week after the fucking earthquake... wait! Radiation! That reminds me of something... Yes! I dreamt about radiation." And god did I dream about radiation. 

I found myself in a blinding white light. Then everything turned murky and I was in some kind of prison cell. Then it was white again. And dark again. In front of me was a wall of glass that reflected the image of my body. I think I looked normal. But I was naked! Buck naked. Next to me were two men. I didn't know them, but I wasn't scared of them – apparently this wasn't a nightmare. Then a voice, a Big Brother-esque voice, came out of the speakers in the ceiling. But my ears started ringing (my fucking tinnitus won't even leave me alone when I'm dreaming!), so I couldn't really hear what the voice said. A few seconds later, the same voice was played on an old-fashion tape-recorder that, apparently, was installed in my brain. 

"GOOD MORNING. WE ARE CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT ON RADIATION THERAPY. PLEASE LOOK INTO THE LIGHT TO YOUR RIGHT." 

To my right, a prison wall with barred windows appeared. 

"WE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT THE TAPE-RECORDER THAT WE PLACED IN YOUR BRAIN WILL EXPLODE AND SPLATTER YOUR BRAIN ALL OVER THE PLACE, KILLING YOU INSTANTLY, IF YOU DON'T DO EXACTLY AS WE SAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND COOPERATION." 

So I looked into the light. It was the same blinding light that I found myself in before the prison cell appeared. I couldn't see anything. After about – shall we say – 3 seconds I turned around and looked at the glass wall. Now the lights were out and everything was dark, except for a T-shaped pattern on my face that was emitting a greenish light. A radioactive light. 

"This some shit," said the two men simultaneously. They had robot voices. And they were naked. I quickly realised that they were quite hot, even though they were considerably older than I. 

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT DUE TO SECURITY REASONS, YOU WILL ALL BE EXECUTED IN 30 MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION AND HAVE A NICE LAST HALF HOUR. GOODBYE." 

Still, I wasn't scared. Fucking finally, I thought to myself. Death. (Isn't it fabulous how cynical I am even when I'm dreaming?) Then the two men spoke to me again. One of them suggested that we all have sex since we were going to die anyway. It was probably a good idea. Besides, the two of them were already hard. "You suck his dick while I fuck you," the other man said to me. All right, I thought. Side-note: since when am I such a submissive slut? 

We started kissing and I was just about to go down on the man in front of me, who was now glowing in a bright pink colour (his penis was blue, though), when it hit me that there were surveillance cameras in the room. No! They'll see us! I shouted. "Come on, who cares? We're going to die in like 25 minutes..." said the man with the blue penis. Scusa!? I'm not a porn-star, I replied. "Pussy", he said and rolled his eyes. Then he slapped me with his dick. Then we started having sex anyway, but everything was blurry because of the damage the radiation had done to our brains. It felt good though, so I went along with it for a while, until I finally felt too self-conscious doing something like that when people were watching on the other side of the glass. BUT THERE ARE CAMERAS, I shouted. And woke up. 

I don't really know what my subconscious is up to, but I'm pretty sure it's trying to tell me something. Something like: don't be a submissive slut because then your brain will explode. Or: don't be self-conscious in front of the camera. Or even: stop being such a emotional mess and get a grip. 

Well, after I've let this dream sink in for a while – it's simply too vivid and lucid at the moment – I'll analyse it. 

Stay tuned for the findings of Emil the Dream Decoder.