Perfection.

Don't do love, don't do friends, I'm only after success.

Fuck. Since this is a note about perfection, I wanted the first sentence to be perfect, close to enchanting, but since I, apparently, can't fucking think, I had no choice but, quite literally, fucking up the beginning.

Anyway, I'm rather excellent at fucking up the beginning(s); it is, in a way, what I do. Me fucking up the beginning(s) is also the main reason – the not so hidden agenda – why I am now re-evaluating my life and what I want out of it. So, one might wonder: what's so fucked up about the beginning I am now trying my best to amend? Well, it's all relative, but rather generally speaking I feel that I am a little bit too bright, a little bit too beautiful and a little bit too glamorous not to achieve absolute greatness in life.

Don't need a relationship, I'll never soften my grip.

I sat down, obviously – what respectable person does any kind of decision making standing? – and thought about my life and what I wanted to do with it. I had a brief vision of becoming the Liza Minelli of the 21st century, but I gave that up quite quickly since I cannot sing in tune any longer. Then it came to me, and I'm rather relieved that it didn't come over me, that I should devote my life to doing what I love, namely: writing. I'll be a fucking famous writer, I thought to myself, and smiled. To be honest, it didn't exactly come to me at that moment; I've been wanting to be a writer ever since I can remember, but it came to me just sounds more dramatic.

Of course, just being a famous, champagne sipping, glam-writer who sits on the beach in Thailand surrounded by twelve-year-old-looking Thai boys while writing on his next best-seller isn't enough for me; I want more! (I wanna be, where the people are; I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancing).

Thus, I came up with four keywords that shall be the foundation of my new life, and here they are in all their glory: WRITER ・ LINGUIST ・ ATHLETE ・ BUDDHA

For those of you who don't know, and I reckon that there's quite a lot of you, Buddha means "the enlighten one". It's Sanskrit, darling; that's all you need to know since you're not a linguist.

One track mind, one track heart, if I fail, I'll fall apart.

I then asked myself: why am I not where I want to be already? What's holding me back? What do I need to do in order to reach perfection? Apparently, the top earning 1% of the world, all have well formed, clearly stated, written goals that they steadily work towards. (I must admit that I hesitated a bit before writing that sentence – should I really be telling people this and help them achieve their goals in life? Is it really in my best interest to see people in my surroundings achieving their goals when I have yet to do so? No, it is not, and my reasoning for that is simple: if I'm not perfect, nobody else can be either. But, since 99% of the world's population lack intelligence, I trust that the people around me are no exceptions).

Goals:

1. Write a book, get it published and make sure it makes me rich.
2. Get the body I've always dreamed of having (more specifically: get a six pack before next summer).
3. Speak seven languages fluently by 30 (more specifically: speak fluent Swedish, English, Japanese, Chinese, German, French and Russian by 30).
4. Deal with some of my mental issues (more specifically: deal with the issues that gets in the way of achieving my goals – I wouldn't want to deal with all my issues since I find sanity utterly boring).

I was going to write about how I plan to achieve my goals, but, after extensive consideration, I have chosen, for obvious reasons, not to. So, that's my life goals and that's that – now I can finally cross "writing down my life goals" off my to-do list. Phew.


Kom låna törnekronan min. (Johanna, det är helt och hållet ditt fel att jag citerar Kent).

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be.
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.
I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy.